Okay my friends, let’s cut to the chase! The key to being resilient is to recognize that if we live long enough, we will eventually face change or adversity. In addition, since we are all human, we understand that these state of affairs automatically trigger several types of emotions. However, the secret sauce lies within how we handle these emotions ourselves and how we deal with the emotions of those around us when either change or adversity strikes.
Here’s a quick example. Think back to when you first learned how to ride a bike. The person who taught you took off your training wheels, held you on the bike steady for about a minute, gave you a pep talk and very specific instructions and then eventually provided you with a swift push to get you started. At first, your excitement level went through the roof. Your big smile indicated that you welcomed this new adventure. Your confidence, passion and perseverance kicked in immediately. You experienced immediate success by pedaling five times without issue and then the inevitable happened… You fell! Not only did you fall, but you fell really hard (because falling was never an issue with the training wheels attached).
At this point, your natural inclination was to immediately look around to see who experienced your fall. But there was also another very important reason you were looking around to find this person. You desperately wanted to know what their reaction was to your mishap. Were they disappointed, upset, happy, proud, supportive, empathetic, etc.? Whether you knew it or not, your reaction to the fall was 95% dictated by the first emotional response of someone around you. If they overacted, so did you. If they were laughing with you, you tended to laugh as well.
This is a very simple concept that leaders must understand and work diligently on today. As we experience more and more change and adversity in our lives, we must train our minds to master resilience by conquering our emotional responses. Similarly, with self-awareness, we must understand that the responses of others around us should not necessarily influence our mental toughness, positive outlook and resilience.
The goal for all of us is to go from certainty to hope as quickly and often as we can. The secret to resiliency starts and ends with how we respond.
The goal of leadership is to realize that we are all human and that we have a responsibility to our tribe to take them on this same journey. Work tirelessly to minimize the disruption time within your organizations, families and life. Oh, and by the way, this is a secret that you can share with everyone. Please do! Good luck on your personal journey my friends!